My Love/Hate Relationship with IKEA

IKEA2

Yes. Just like the title says.  I have a love hate relationship with IKEA.  There is not way around this.  So, let’s break it down.

The Love

  • Some interesting and cool/quirky furniture and stuff.
  • Occasionally some decent prices on that cool quirky furniture and stuff.
  • Unique names that are hard to pronounce well–I pride myself on my pronunciation of foreign words but….I try, but I am certain I am mangling the crap out of the stuff. Hopefully I can get a Swedish student this year and he or she could read me the catalogue.
  • A lovely catalogue, which is fantastic when you consider how many other stores have given up on the idea altogether.
  • A level of customization that is not common.
  • A real showroom.
  • A good deal on ice cream, and hotdogs (though I wouldn’t order one).
  • Awesome view of the train tracks from the eatery.       If I am lucky a train my pass through.

The Hate

  • Complicated store layout that has me walk all over the place, despite my one specific need. It may be force me to look at more stuff, but it raises my anger to levels that only highway traffic can.
  • The amount of people forced along the same path.
  • The lack of bathrooms along the long march from hell.
  • The need to go upstairs upon entry.
  • Usually some unbelievable prices on that cool/quirky furniture
  • The distance the entrance is from the parking lot.
  • The fact that whole families and their cell phones feel the need to shop there at the same time.
  • The lack of humour that a story full of quirky items should have–but doesn’t.
  • The fact that I had to park on the second floor, take an elevator to the first floor, walk several hundred metres to the entrance, only to have to go up to the second floor again.

How do I total that up? Should it be quantified?  If so, the love would override the hate.  Unfortunately the hate and rage seem so much stronger.  Maybe because it really isn’t a love hate relationship, but more like a like hate relationship.  Also, maybe I hate the customers more than the actual store.

Perhaps I made the mistake of taking my mother to this store on the wrong day. Though, to be fair, this was the most convenient time and I don’t have any confidence that there would ever be a right day.

I did not purchase any furniture items today. I did have a soft ice cream cone though and I bought my mother a lingonberry sundae to make up for my sarcasm and rage.  She seemed to enjoy it but still doesn’t really have any clue what a lingonberry is.  Her description just came out “berry”.

Because it is for the best for all concerned, I am going to have to put the IKEA catalogue away for a few months.

Post Script

To quell the rage, I went to the Japanese store to pick up some treats.  Had my mom not been with me, I would have eaten my whole meal there.  Regardless, I am much better now.

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About Anthony

I am: equal parts rebel, romantic and shockingly average Joe. a writer trapped inside of an ESL teacher's body. an introverted attention seeker. a teacher who hopes one day to be called "Captain, my Captain." an intellectual who can do some very dumb things. a person whose Japan experience, despite being so long ago, still exerts a strong influence upon him. a lover of books, music, beer, hockey and Pizza.
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8 Responses to My Love/Hate Relationship with IKEA

  1. What no meatballs? I adore stores and catalogs with a sense of humor. I love Moosejaw for that reason.

    • Anthony says:

      Moosejaw the city? Or is this some place to shop?

      • It’s an outdoor clothing company. “Moosejaw Waterproof Fabric
        Getting soaked on a hike or on the way to work is no fun. Everyone will make fun of you and your tears will only exacerbate the problem. This garment is waterproof and critically seam taped ensuring that water stays off of your awesome body.” The paper catalog is even better.

      • Anthony says:

        I will definitely have to check that one out–though most outdoor clothing I want usually relates to cycling.

  2. capejohn says:

    I can relate. I have been into the local Ikea twice. That’s enough visits for me.

  3. Anonymous says:

    IKEA Rage, like road rage indoors.

  4. Rachel M says:

    We can order online here which solves all those negative pints. Although I sometimes miss going for lunch.

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